I have been reading and thinking a lot recently about how altruism and generosity are not only not common in the social sense of the word, but not something humans are born with. We are not inherently altruistic or generous, those traits and behaviours are learned (or not!!)
Aren't people generous when they give money or donate food, clothing, and toys to charities? I would say that for most it's not genuine generosity, but rather something we are conditioned to do at specific times (IE. X-mas), or when dramatic events (IE. Haiti earthquake) happen.
So what does it take for a person to be genuinely altruistic or generous?
I believe a person needs to be humble before they can be genuinely altruistic and generous.
By the way, I am aware of the irony of calling out people on their lack of humility.
By humility, I don't mean the occasional (usually on specific occasions like birthdays, anniversaries or awards presentations)outward expressions of gratitude.
Rather, I refer to the ability to accept reality; the reality that *I* am not better than others.
In an odd twist, accepting this reality leads to behaving differently than most. I say odd because my perception of "humble" people as often been that of shy and reserved people who do not "rock the boat".
Now while humble people do not "rock the boat", they also behave in much more altruisitic ways. They are the ones who will help charities throughout the year (not just in the 2nd and 3rd week of December), they will contribute to the Red Cross and other such organizations regularly not just AFTER A DISASTER.
They're not the ones you call in order to "put out a fire", they're the ones you learn from in order to avoid having a "fire" in the first place.
Regarding depression, they're the few who educate themselves, and unlike most are not afraid of mental illness.
A little humility can go a long way.
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6 comments:
Interesting and challenging post, Greg.
I would challenge your (and anyone's) right to ascribe motives to giving.
And, really, whatever the motives are, isn't the result the same?
If I give $500 to a cause because I am 'genuinely altruistic' or because I am 'doing the right thing because I feel I should', isn't the end result the same?
Thanks for the input Kat, and yes the challenger does go both ways!!
When a person donates $500, the immediate result is not correlated to the person's intentions.
As an example, some could donate for the tax credit.
Donating time or money on a more consistent basis (IE. Not just when we are conditioned to) would make the longer term result better.
By that I mean there would (ideally) be less need for larger scale giving at Xmas time or after disasters.
Idealistic? Of course, but if people start by accepting their own fallibilities we'd be on to a good start.
And if I don't donate to all those charity because I don't trust so much that my money will reach the right person. And what if I don't help charities because I've never put the time for it. If instead, everyday of my life, I try to always be there for the people around me and I always try to find a way to make their life easier in maybe giving them a lift when they have to take the bus, having diner with a lonely friend. Or, not only friends, but helping the old lady to pick up a bag that fell. So many little things I feel most people don't care about anymore, especially in the big city I live in. When I think about it, I feel that it is a kind of generosity because I take the time to think about those people before I go on with my life. Is it just "normal" altruism then? Long time ago social behavior forgotten? But in this world, is it considered generosity?
That Mademoiselle A. is (as for as I'm concerned) true generosity and altuism.
You mention not given directly to charities because of concern the money (or part of it) will not get to the truly need. You say you haven't "put the time" in such ventures. I would say that you have put a lot of thought in it though.
Helping out people in everyday situations such as those you point out is genuine generosity.
You take the time to think about how (and who) you can help. You don't wait for others to say "It's December lets be generous".
When it comes to being helpful / generous, you do things differently than most, and that shows me you are genuinely humble.
Thank you for the pep talk. Is there anything I could do to make your day an inch better? ;)
Well now!!!
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