It’s never just one thing

We all know that, but how often do we fall for the exaggerated and misleading promises of individual therapeutic aids.
Here’s a list of what I need to do in order to feel better:
- Stay sober
- Take my medication rigorously
- Socialize / Interact with friends, family, colleagues.
- Exercise
- Read / Educate myself about Depression
- Work at achieving my long-term goals (Right now for me that means studying)
- Eat healthy
- Have regular sleep pattern
- Take time to do something I enjoy but is just a pastime (For me that’s comedy)
- Share my story, ideas, beliefs with others (through this blog!!)

Some of these probably apply to many people, some perhaps to no one. The important thing to remember is that doing 1,2 or 5 of these will only have limited effect (and in fact, NOT DOING some or many of these make nullify those which we do. That’s just how the Depressed mind thinks).

Priorities

Organizing, prioritizing, and making lists seems somewhat easy; establish what takes up the most time and put those in your Day-timer in order.
Doing that allowed me to complete tasks, and get things done, but never felt I achieved anything.
When I review my priorities in terms of what is important TO ME, things are rather different.
At this point, here is what is important to me in order:
- My Recovery / Health
- Finding / Keeping work / Getting my finances in order
- My studies and education
- Fitness
- Blogging
- Comedy

Here’s how I can do each:
-Recovery / Health: Take my medication, improve my self-discipline, read about recovery, socialize / build relationships, eat healthy, make my cause be known.

- Work / Finances: Apply / Interview / discipline myself to tolerate what I dislike by remembering I am more than my job / Save money / Pay debts.

- Studies / Education: Apply myself to daily studying, reading and reviewing.

- Fitness: Discipline myself to a regular workout schedule, eat healthy, participate in races.

- Blogging: Educate myself on blogging techniques, blog every day.

- Comedy: Write / Rehearse every day.


When I look at it this way, things seem much more worthwhile. The #1 thing in my life is my health and recovery. I can not let that slip at all, because without health, I can not do the rest and anything I would do without being healthy would be useless to me.
The other 5 are strictly based on where I am in my life right now. They are totally flexible. When I’m looking for work, work and finances do take priority, but when that part of my life stabilizes, perhaps another will supplant it as “second”.

Questions and opinions

Would the fear / misunderstanding / stigma of mental illness be an in-born biological and physiological defence mechanism? A defence that tells us “None of our species (especially not our providers / protectors (MEN) ) can be disabled to the point of having difficulty coping / adjusting / adapting, because if that is so, our entire species is at risk!!” ?


Do we really like the underdog, or do we just root from the sidelines and feel good after he succeeds?
We love stories of overcoming obstacles and redemption, but do we love these same people BEFORE they “succeed” ?

We sugar-coat (even avoid talking about) Depression by sticking to what the person did “right”. We avoid the discomfort of discussing Depression. Not very tough / generous / helpful / useful / humanistic / thoughtful / humble / loving is that now!!!

And how educational is it to avoid learning about something?

Justifications such as “we don’t know” and “we’ve haven’t had it” only confirms ignorance and weakness.

Choices

We often hear (even within the mental health fraternity and medical community) that a large part of recovery from mental illness is a matter of “choice”. That when the person “chooses” to no longer be depressed, recovery will follow.
How come we never hear that people who don’t have mental illness are CHOOSING not to educate themselves? Choosing to “not know what to do”? That they choose to do nothing instead of getting involved?

Why is it the mentally ill and substance abusers who are making “bad choices”? Isn’t it a “bad choice” to remain ignorant about scientifically proven illnesses?

We all know that mental illness is stigmatized, what is never said is that stigmatization = intolerance.

Isn’t it a “bad choice” to stigmatize a group of people?

Mental illness is the only scientifically proven medical type of condition for which ignorance is accepted, even promoted.

What are WE afraid of?

“No matter how you may have redeemed yourself - no matter how many good deeds you have stacked up to counterbalance what you once did - the shame of it is still scorching hot. The better a man you’ve become, the more godawful it sounds hearing what you once did. Once it’s out, you’d like to do nothing but crawl under a rock. Shame has dragged many a life right back down. For this season, most men run from their shame and run from anything that might remind them of it.” - Po Bronson (Why Do I Love These People)

That is one of the best description of why men “don’t talk about it” I’ve ever heard. Talking about it (in our minds) simply reminds us of how fucked up we have been / are.
When you add to that the social stigma (IE. Shame), “talking about it” is doubly shameful.

What is rarely (if ever) mentioned is how people WHO DON’T HAVE depression are afraid of talking about it. Especially (once again) when it involves men.

Bronson, in the same book seems to avoid using the “d-word” when describing depressive symptoms in men he interviewed, whereas it is utilized about women with the same symptoms. Descriptions of some men include “ alcohol/drug abuse, excessive anger, loss of enjoyment in previously enjoyable activities”. Even his own story includes low self-esteem, isolation. These are all symptoms of depression, in the DSM-IV no less. Never is the d-word used though. Yet, in very similar descriptions of women going through the same symptoms, the d-word is regularly dropped.
Beyond the “they were not diagnosed as depressed” reasoning / excuse, one could easily add “these are typical symptoms of depression”. In fact, if people show symptoms of other diseases, we don’t hesitate to say “it could be…”, “it sounds like…” . Obviously not only are people with depression the only ones who “don’t talk about it”.