People don't generally appreciate another (person) claiming to be a victim. It comes off a whiny and weak.
Of course it's different when we (or someone close to us) is victimized.
When a Jewish person mentions how they come from a heritage which suffered one of the worst attrocities in history are they "playing the victim", or pointing out historical fact?
When a woman talks about being raped, is she "victimizing" herself, or telling us about a heinous crime?
When an adult mle mentions his depression making his life a living hell, is he "playing victim", or sharing his feelings?
By the way, if you think these examples are exaggerated, I suggest you go tell that to Walter Koenig and other parents of adult males who have committed suicide.
Some would say that a person is "playing victim" when they expect something from others.
That may be true IN SOME CASES, but I believe the rape victim has every right to expect help in the form of medical attention, legal advice, and extra protection.
Why then is the adult male (often) perceived as "playing the victim" (IE. weak) when discussing the difficulties his depression bring about?
In an ironic twist, the family and friends of an adult male are accepted as "victims" after he commits suicide.
Showing posts with label Men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Men. Show all posts
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Is it un-manly to de depressed?
Reading recent issues of men's magazines "GQ" and "Esquire", I couldn't help but question (once again) society's fear of male depression.
Both editions included a full article on American (male) Iraq war veterans who have returned to the USA and the struggles they are experiencing.
Without detailing the articles, the main thing I got is that these vets were nothing more than a commodity. When they followed orders and killed the enemy they were a great commodity, the minute they no longer could, their "value" diminished and they were drummed out.
As active Servicemen, they symbolized what our culture portrays as "men". Bigger, stronger, and faster than the "enemy", putting in 12-15 hour days (regardless of whether they were doing something constructive or destructive), and whatever else they did (drinking, drugs) was "nobody's business".
Once their "skills" diminished, they suddenly (in our culture's eyes) became weak, useless, and their drinking and grug use turned into a lack of will power.
The fact their "skills" were nothing more than a "service" which justified politicians' bad judgement (to put it mildly), and that these skills are useless anywhere else but in a battlefield is something we (as a society) never look at.
More importantly, the reason their "skills" diminished (and lost their "manliness") is mental illness. Mental illness brought upon directly by their military experience.
When our culture's predominant message to men is "Follow-orders-we'll-like-you. Get-sick-we'll-let-you-rot-in-the-dumpster", no wonder so few men ever disclose being sick (especially psychologically).
Both editions included a full article on American (male) Iraq war veterans who have returned to the USA and the struggles they are experiencing.
Without detailing the articles, the main thing I got is that these vets were nothing more than a commodity. When they followed orders and killed the enemy they were a great commodity, the minute they no longer could, their "value" diminished and they were drummed out.
As active Servicemen, they symbolized what our culture portrays as "men". Bigger, stronger, and faster than the "enemy", putting in 12-15 hour days (regardless of whether they were doing something constructive or destructive), and whatever else they did (drinking, drugs) was "nobody's business".
Once their "skills" diminished, they suddenly (in our culture's eyes) became weak, useless, and their drinking and grug use turned into a lack of will power.
The fact their "skills" were nothing more than a "service" which justified politicians' bad judgement (to put it mildly), and that these skills are useless anywhere else but in a battlefield is something we (as a society) never look at.
More importantly, the reason their "skills" diminished (and lost their "manliness") is mental illness. Mental illness brought upon directly by their military experience.
When our culture's predominant message to men is "Follow-orders-we'll-like-you. Get-sick-we'll-let-you-rot-in-the-dumpster", no wonder so few men ever disclose being sick (especially psychologically).
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