Is it all about the money?

A recent study trying to establish which countries are "happiest" found a correlation between wealth and happiness (IE. Countries which rated higher levels of "happiness" were generally countries with higher income earning populations.).

I looked up some statistics myself trying to see if income discrepency played a role in LESS happiness, and although very limited sampling, (first world) countries with higher income discrepancy DID rank lower than countries with more equal distribution of wealth.

Surprisingly (to me), Norway has the highest proportion of millionaires (per capita), yet ranks 3rd in "happiness".

The Gini coefficient is a measure of the inequality of a distribution which has been used to measure inequalities in different disciplines including economics.

Using the Gini coefficient, Norway ranks higher (IE. Less inequality) than countries such as Japan, USA, and Canada. Not surprisingly, these countries rank lower in happiness.

So as much as money is a major contributor to happiness, (a sense) of (more) equality may be even more influential.

Doing V. Being

To simply say one doesn't like their job is selfish. Even I (of all people!!!) would say "If you don't like it do something else".

Now if someone says "I feel I have more to offer (myself and the world)than my current occupation does", that's different.

Our culture of "immediacy" doesn't promote self-fulfillment or even social fulfillment. It is more important to "do" than to "be".

Go to any dinner party, what's the first question? "What do you do?" We judge others worth by their socio-economic status. It's even part of the English language (IE. I AM a lawyer, accountant, doctor...)

When we are what we do, no wonder thousands of us are depressed. We know we have much more to offer, but social conventions insist that simply "doing" something is all that matters regardless of how fun / boring, useful / useless, real or fake it may be.

Wanting to want more is portrayed as selfish.

Pedestrian clichés like "Be grateful of what you do have", and "Just work hard and the rest will follow" are just that, pedestrian.

We are socialized to believe that happiness occurs after (hard) work, on evenings and weekends. That happiness is somehow earned, as if happiness is a commodity.

If "working hard" means slaving away at a job which doesn't maximize my skill set (how's that for a buzzword?!), is what I'm expected to do to "earn" my happiness, I'm not interested.

I know I'm not alone.

Just don't be a nuisance

This morning at a neighbourhood coffee shop I overheard an interesting conversation between 2 scruffy looking men. One asked the other "are you still clean?", the second answered "yup, going on 7 months", the first congratulated him. They went on to talk about work, the first man saying he was working construction 7 days a week, when the second man said he was looking for work, the first said he would see with his employer if they need extra help and hopefully they would have work for his friend.

As ordinary and common as this conversation probably, it lead me to think about social expectations.

What first hit me is the hypocrisy of our society which would appreciate how these 2 men have straightened out their lives, yet where were we (society) when they needed help?

At a deeper level, I recognized that socially, we don't care that these 2 men might still be going through difficulties financially, work wise. That they don't really have choice about what they do for a living, they have to take the first thing which comes along. When they do, they will be expected to be grateful. As if "doing something", regardless of what it is, how (un)important, or boring it may be, is all that's important.

What matters to us a society is not that people have happy, fulfilling, and complete lives; we only don't want others to be a nuisance.

So in order to function in our society, one must simply "not be a nuisance". Not very mtivating is it?

Functionality and happiness.

One of the most difficult things in life in balancing how one fits in society without feeling like they are just a number, while embracing their uniqueness without coming off as a kook.

In my deepest darkest days, one thought that kept coming back was "If being functional is all there is, I'm not interested". My definition of "functional" was (and still is!!) "just do enough bot to be a nuisance to others". During my depression, that thought was compounded with the belief (which is not entirely wrong, by the way!!) that the main thing people care about in social contact is to not be burdened.

If someone is not "funcional" they are a burden and therefore unworthy of genuine care.

Functionality, by that definition, has nothing to do with happiness.

Is the functional person automatically happy?
Is the non-functional person automatically sad?

When taking stock of a person (or ourselves), do we put a disproportionate emphasis on functionality, as opposed to happiness?

If functionality is as important as it is made out to be, why are so many people still unhappy?

Maybe it is the destination after all

We often hear how life's "a journey, not a destination" (even Aerosmith used those lyrics!!), but if we see happiness as a destination, then the journey IS secondary.

People, groups, and organizations such as religions, political parties, even businesses do not promote their beliefs in order for people to be happier, or even better off. All they want is more membership, more promotion of their beliefs / ideas, and more goods or services being consumed.

They blind the public with the idea that by feeling better temporarily (during prayer, when in office, when consuming such a product...), it will lead to longer term happiness, but that never occurs (which, by the way, they knew all along!!)

They will also create a false impression of community, by pushing the idea of "Do like us, we're smart, popular, you want to be like us".

That last part is one of the biggest problems, most people DO NOT want to be LIKE others, we want our own uniqueness to shine. We all want and NEED to be with others, but remain unique within the group.

In order to achieve happiness, people take numerous different paths. Everything from social groups, religion, politics, activism...

The paths are infinite, the destination is unique.