What have you done for me lately?

People are often “proud” of those who suffer from Depression when they (the sufferers) are doing something for these others or at least not being a nuisance.

The number of people (employers, family members, friends, and others) who say they “understand depression” and “do what they can for people who suffer from it”, yet where are they when the person is suffering?

It’s easy to “understand” and “help” someone when they are doing what we consider “normal”.

What about when the person is sick? Only helping people “when they help themselves” is weak. True “help” occurs when it is needed.

It is common knowledge (and if it’s not, educate yourselves) that depression sufferers know themselves better than anyone else. If that is true (or at least believed), how come people are so quick to criticize when a depressive passes up on an invitation, or takes a day off work?

Would we be as critical of the cancer patient or AIDS sufferer who had the same behaviour?

Medication

In Canada, antidepressant medication is the most prescribed medication, and for good reason....People are depressed.

The question I'd like to raise is whether antidepressant medications (SSRI's being the most common) truly help people live happier lives or if they help people be happy "enough".
My experience with SSRI's has been so-so, and not because of the medication itself (IE. It never made me exuberant, but I've also never had significant negative side effects).

The first time I was prescribed an antidepressant, I had no clue I was depressed, went to a walk in clinic and the doctor (seeing me for the first time and I was in the office maybe 10 minutes) prescribed "Fluoxetine". It sounded good that a medication good be prescribed, but when I got home (and yes, I should have done this at the doctor's office which I now diligently do) I looked up "Fluoxetine". It's Prozac.

The fact a doctor (who knew nothing about me or my previous history (medical or otherwise)) prescribed Prozac truly through me off. How dare he medicate me for depression when he knows nothing about me. Would he have sent me to chemo if I'd said I'd smoked for 10 years?

After a couple more prescriptions (Paxil and Effexor) which I took A) Reluctantly and B) With false hopes, I didn't get much better.

Back on Effexor I am much better, but I also had some talk therapy, group therapy, a better understanding of depression, and solid relationships in which I'm comfortable discussion my issues.

I believe I will be depressive my whole life, but not necessarily depressed.

Medication helps stabilize my mood and my functioning, but it's talking about it with therapists, family and friends, blogging, looking inwardly, and understanding myself that makes me happy.

Internal life

A person's internal life is essential, when we ask others how they are feeling do we truly (want to) listen to the expressed emotion, or do we have a (or series thereof) ready answer(s) such as "This too will pass"?

Unfortunately, a person's functionality takes precedent over their internal life.

Being functional (which infers outside influences) is necessary for social survival.

Being self aware is necessary for personal survival.

Combining both is living.

Where were you?

Have you ever felt the urge to tell people they were not "there" for you? Did you feel they were actively present when you really needed them?

Worse, did they become present when you were better and somehow take credit or make you feel inadequate?

In our society which calls itself open and accepting are people genuinely available when needed?

Do people just "not know" or do they choose to "not know"?

What makes you depressed?

Do you get bored, angry, and eventually depressed by repetition? I know I am.

I recall going to the doctor's (same doctor!!), and I would be asked the same questions I had the last 10 visits ("Do you want to harm yourself or others?", "Do you find enjoyment in things you used to?", "On a scale from 1-10 where would you put your happiness?")

If this is the criteria for "treating" depression, why aren't sufferers simply given a set of questions they can review every four weeks?

How can anyone claim medically "treating" someone if all they do is ask the same questions and interpret the answers?

Freud has been dismissed because he was not "scientific", how is today's psychiatric medicine "scientific"?

Is it all about the money?

A recent study trying to establish which countries are "happiest" found a correlation between wealth and happiness (IE. Countries which rated higher levels of "happiness" were generally countries with higher income earning populations.).

I looked up some statistics myself trying to see if income discrepency played a role in LESS happiness, and although very limited sampling, (first world) countries with higher income discrepancy DID rank lower than countries with more equal distribution of wealth.

Surprisingly (to me), Norway has the highest proportion of millionaires (per capita), yet ranks 3rd in "happiness".

The Gini coefficient is a measure of the inequality of a distribution which has been used to measure inequalities in different disciplines including economics.

Using the Gini coefficient, Norway ranks higher (IE. Less inequality) than countries such as Japan, USA, and Canada. Not surprisingly, these countries rank lower in happiness.

So as much as money is a major contributor to happiness, (a sense) of (more) equality may be even more influential.

Doing V. Being

To simply say one doesn't like their job is selfish. Even I (of all people!!!) would say "If you don't like it do something else".

Now if someone says "I feel I have more to offer (myself and the world)than my current occupation does", that's different.

Our culture of "immediacy" doesn't promote self-fulfillment or even social fulfillment. It is more important to "do" than to "be".

Go to any dinner party, what's the first question? "What do you do?" We judge others worth by their socio-economic status. It's even part of the English language (IE. I AM a lawyer, accountant, doctor...)

When we are what we do, no wonder thousands of us are depressed. We know we have much more to offer, but social conventions insist that simply "doing" something is all that matters regardless of how fun / boring, useful / useless, real or fake it may be.

Wanting to want more is portrayed as selfish.

Pedestrian clichés like "Be grateful of what you do have", and "Just work hard and the rest will follow" are just that, pedestrian.

We are socialized to believe that happiness occurs after (hard) work, on evenings and weekends. That happiness is somehow earned, as if happiness is a commodity.

If "working hard" means slaving away at a job which doesn't maximize my skill set (how's that for a buzzword?!), is what I'm expected to do to "earn" my happiness, I'm not interested.

I know I'm not alone.