Doing V. Being

To simply say one doesn't like their job is selfish. Even I (of all people!!!) would say "If you don't like it do something else".

Now if someone says "I feel I have more to offer (myself and the world)than my current occupation does", that's different.

Our culture of "immediacy" doesn't promote self-fulfillment or even social fulfillment. It is more important to "do" than to "be".

Go to any dinner party, what's the first question? "What do you do?" We judge others worth by their socio-economic status. It's even part of the English language (IE. I AM a lawyer, accountant, doctor...)

When we are what we do, no wonder thousands of us are depressed. We know we have much more to offer, but social conventions insist that simply "doing" something is all that matters regardless of how fun / boring, useful / useless, real or fake it may be.

Wanting to want more is portrayed as selfish.

Pedestrian clichés like "Be grateful of what you do have", and "Just work hard and the rest will follow" are just that, pedestrian.

We are socialized to believe that happiness occurs after (hard) work, on evenings and weekends. That happiness is somehow earned, as if happiness is a commodity.

If "working hard" means slaving away at a job which doesn't maximize my skill set (how's that for a buzzword?!), is what I'm expected to do to "earn" my happiness, I'm not interested.

I know I'm not alone.

Just don't be a nuisance

This morning at a neighbourhood coffee shop I overheard an interesting conversation between 2 scruffy looking men. One asked the other "are you still clean?", the second answered "yup, going on 7 months", the first congratulated him. They went on to talk about work, the first man saying he was working construction 7 days a week, when the second man said he was looking for work, the first said he would see with his employer if they need extra help and hopefully they would have work for his friend.

As ordinary and common as this conversation probably, it lead me to think about social expectations.

What first hit me is the hypocrisy of our society which would appreciate how these 2 men have straightened out their lives, yet where were we (society) when they needed help?

At a deeper level, I recognized that socially, we don't care that these 2 men might still be going through difficulties financially, work wise. That they don't really have choice about what they do for a living, they have to take the first thing which comes along. When they do, they will be expected to be grateful. As if "doing something", regardless of what it is, how (un)important, or boring it may be, is all that's important.

What matters to us a society is not that people have happy, fulfilling, and complete lives; we only don't want others to be a nuisance.

So in order to function in our society, one must simply "not be a nuisance". Not very mtivating is it?