What are WE afraid of?

“No matter how you may have redeemed yourself - no matter how many good deeds you have stacked up to counterbalance what you once did - the shame of it is still scorching hot. The better a man you’ve become, the more godawful it sounds hearing what you once did. Once it’s out, you’d like to do nothing but crawl under a rock. Shame has dragged many a life right back down. For this season, most men run from their shame and run from anything that might remind them of it.” - Po Bronson (Why Do I Love These People)

That is one of the best description of why men “don’t talk about it” I’ve ever heard. Talking about it (in our minds) simply reminds us of how fucked up we have been / are.
When you add to that the social stigma (IE. Shame), “talking about it” is doubly shameful.

What is rarely (if ever) mentioned is how people WHO DON’T HAVE depression are afraid of talking about it. Especially (once again) when it involves men.

Bronson, in the same book seems to avoid using the “d-word” when describing depressive symptoms in men he interviewed, whereas it is utilized about women with the same symptoms. Descriptions of some men include “ alcohol/drug abuse, excessive anger, loss of enjoyment in previously enjoyable activities”. Even his own story includes low self-esteem, isolation. These are all symptoms of depression, in the DSM-IV no less. Never is the d-word used though. Yet, in very similar descriptions of women going through the same symptoms, the d-word is regularly dropped.
Beyond the “they were not diagnosed as depressed” reasoning / excuse, one could easily add “these are typical symptoms of depression”. In fact, if people show symptoms of other diseases, we don’t hesitate to say “it could be…”, “it sounds like…” . Obviously not only are people with depression the only ones who “don’t talk about it”.