It is said that the opposite of love is not hate, but rather indifference. If you hate someone, you are still acknowledging them, whereas by being indifferent, it's as if they don't even exist.
Now imagine suffering from mental illness and having people indifferent to it. They "don't know what to do", they "don't want to interfere", basically they are just full of excuses to not do anything.
A large part of mental illness is feelings of loneliness, of being "misunderstood", of not "fitting in", and when others are indifferent to it, it amplifies those symptoms.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Ideas I've been writing
Just because "that's the way it goes" doesn't make it right. I rather question, be skeptical, be accused of being "a dreamer" or "idealistic", even it it means being criticized, even ridiculed. I even prefer question something and be proven wrong than to not have questioned and simply accepted.
Ever notice it's never "one of us". whenever we hear of some mass murder, it was "a nut job". When someone ("only") takes their own life (IE. Kurt Cobain), they were "troubled". How come we recognize their "trouble" only AFTER they're dead? Also, what is so scary about looking at their similarities? Isn't how they "express" those similarities the only difference?
We separate ourselves from social outcasts (IE. homeless, mentally ill...), while attaching convenient tags to ourselves. When someone with the same tag as us commits a condemnable act, a truly humble person feels sympathy for the victim(s), and (some) shame that "someone like them" would do such a thing. The insecure, self-indulgent, and arrogant person simply separates themselves ("Oh, he's one of those"). Guess where the vast majority fit in.
Michael Phelps was photographed smoking dope and admitted to it. He has been "forgiven" in the court of public opinion. Would it be so if instead of being an Olympic champion, and a strong "revenue generator" for several sponsors, he were some "ordinary schmuck", or a homeless person?
I feel sympathy for Phelps as everything he does is scrutinized with a magnifying glass which isn't fair (even for someone of his celebrity). Those I have no sympathy for are those sponsors who were so glad the "sponsor" him when everything was going well, but as soon as things go bad they walk away. They never wanted him to "succeed", all they wanted is for him to make money for them.
Funny how these "sponsors" would be the first ones to whine for help if things don't work out for them (even if they create their own demise through their selfish greed), but when things don't go as planned for the guy they "sponsor", they just walk away.
Ever notice it's never "one of us". whenever we hear of some mass murder, it was "a nut job". When someone ("only") takes their own life (IE. Kurt Cobain), they were "troubled". How come we recognize their "trouble" only AFTER they're dead? Also, what is so scary about looking at their similarities? Isn't how they "express" those similarities the only difference?
We separate ourselves from social outcasts (IE. homeless, mentally ill...), while attaching convenient tags to ourselves. When someone with the same tag as us commits a condemnable act, a truly humble person feels sympathy for the victim(s), and (some) shame that "someone like them" would do such a thing. The insecure, self-indulgent, and arrogant person simply separates themselves ("Oh, he's one of those"). Guess where the vast majority fit in.
Michael Phelps was photographed smoking dope and admitted to it. He has been "forgiven" in the court of public opinion. Would it be so if instead of being an Olympic champion, and a strong "revenue generator" for several sponsors, he were some "ordinary schmuck", or a homeless person?
I feel sympathy for Phelps as everything he does is scrutinized with a magnifying glass which isn't fair (even for someone of his celebrity). Those I have no sympathy for are those sponsors who were so glad the "sponsor" him when everything was going well, but as soon as things go bad they walk away. They never wanted him to "succeed", all they wanted is for him to make money for them.
Funny how these "sponsors" would be the first ones to whine for help if things don't work out for them (even if they create their own demise through their selfish greed), but when things don't go as planned for the guy they "sponsor", they just walk away.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
I'm back
Haven't posted in way too long. Life got in the way, I also let it. It's just good to be back.
When does "Live and let live / Not interfere" become ignorance? As I've said before, I believe it's better to have tried "something" and fail than nothing and fail. They say we don't regret what we did as much as what we didn't do. But can people genuinely care and choose to do nothing? If so, is their decision regrettable (assuming a negative outcome), or are they simply sad of the result?
People are imperfect. Individuals, groups, organizations must be judged in their entirety, not simply in those areas which confirm our bias. I often hear that politicians are 'hypocritical' when spinning events to their advantage (or disadvantage of their opponent), but don't most of us do the same? It is called 'partisan politics', what is called when it happens in everyday life?
I am fascinated how beliefs, and values I had 20 years ago were 'right', and how I let their 'unorthodoxy' drive me away from myself. I believed in bettering the world, in helping, in co-operation. I knew it was 'idealistic', but what's wrong with that? I let pedestrian banalities like "That's not how it works" influence me into believing I was wrong!!! How fucked up is that!!! Someone wants to improve the world, make people co-operate, but since it's not "common" they're the troubled one.
I also used to loathe the idea and even the word *work*. To me it sounded like legalized and accepted slavery; put in 40 hours a week, get a paycheque with which you have to pay for lodging, food, and other "obligations" (IE. Bills) which were created by our society and that too few even questioned. And the topper for me was 'If you enjoy what you do, that's a bonus'. How ass-fucking-backwards is that.
I still don't particularly enjoy the obligatory aspect of 'Participating in society', but realize that in order to change things (as minute as that change is likely to be), it's better to do what we want to change in order to put ourselves in a better position to challenge it (IE. 'I've been there, I know what's wrong with it'.)
I missed blogging.
When does "Live and let live / Not interfere" become ignorance? As I've said before, I believe it's better to have tried "something" and fail than nothing and fail. They say we don't regret what we did as much as what we didn't do. But can people genuinely care and choose to do nothing? If so, is their decision regrettable (assuming a negative outcome), or are they simply sad of the result?
People are imperfect. Individuals, groups, organizations must be judged in their entirety, not simply in those areas which confirm our bias. I often hear that politicians are 'hypocritical' when spinning events to their advantage (or disadvantage of their opponent), but don't most of us do the same? It is called 'partisan politics', what is called when it happens in everyday life?
I am fascinated how beliefs, and values I had 20 years ago were 'right', and how I let their 'unorthodoxy' drive me away from myself. I believed in bettering the world, in helping, in co-operation. I knew it was 'idealistic', but what's wrong with that? I let pedestrian banalities like "That's not how it works" influence me into believing I was wrong!!! How fucked up is that!!! Someone wants to improve the world, make people co-operate, but since it's not "common" they're the troubled one.
I also used to loathe the idea and even the word *work*. To me it sounded like legalized and accepted slavery; put in 40 hours a week, get a paycheque with which you have to pay for lodging, food, and other "obligations" (IE. Bills) which were created by our society and that too few even questioned. And the topper for me was 'If you enjoy what you do, that's a bonus'. How ass-fucking-backwards is that.
I still don't particularly enjoy the obligatory aspect of 'Participating in society', but realize that in order to change things (as minute as that change is likely to be), it's better to do what we want to change in order to put ourselves in a better position to challenge it (IE. 'I've been there, I know what's wrong with it'.)
I missed blogging.
Friday, January 30, 2009
It’s never just one thing
We all know that, but how often do we fall for the exaggerated and misleading promises of individual therapeutic aids.
Here’s a list of what I need to do in order to feel better:
- Stay sober
- Take my medication rigorously
- Socialize / Interact with friends, family, colleagues.
- Exercise
- Read / Educate myself about Depression
- Work at achieving my long-term goals (Right now for me that means studying)
- Eat healthy
- Have regular sleep pattern
- Take time to do something I enjoy but is just a pastime (For me that’s comedy)
- Share my story, ideas, beliefs with others (through this blog!!)
Some of these probably apply to many people, some perhaps to no one. The important thing to remember is that doing 1,2 or 5 of these will only have limited effect (and in fact, NOT DOING some or many of these make nullify those which we do. That’s just how the Depressed mind thinks).
Here’s a list of what I need to do in order to feel better:
- Stay sober
- Take my medication rigorously
- Socialize / Interact with friends, family, colleagues.
- Exercise
- Read / Educate myself about Depression
- Work at achieving my long-term goals (Right now for me that means studying)
- Eat healthy
- Have regular sleep pattern
- Take time to do something I enjoy but is just a pastime (For me that’s comedy)
- Share my story, ideas, beliefs with others (through this blog!!)
Some of these probably apply to many people, some perhaps to no one. The important thing to remember is that doing 1,2 or 5 of these will only have limited effect (and in fact, NOT DOING some or many of these make nullify those which we do. That’s just how the Depressed mind thinks).
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Priorities
Organizing, prioritizing, and making lists seems somewhat easy; establish what takes up the most time and put those in your Day-timer in order.
Doing that allowed me to complete tasks, and get things done, but never felt I achieved anything.
When I review my priorities in terms of what is important TO ME, things are rather different.
At this point, here is what is important to me in order:
- My Recovery / Health
- Finding / Keeping work / Getting my finances in order
- My studies and education
- Fitness
- Blogging
- Comedy
Here’s how I can do each:
-Recovery / Health: Take my medication, improve my self-discipline, read about recovery, socialize / build relationships, eat healthy, make my cause be known.
- Work / Finances: Apply / Interview / discipline myself to tolerate what I dislike by remembering I am more than my job / Save money / Pay debts.
- Studies / Education: Apply myself to daily studying, reading and reviewing.
- Fitness: Discipline myself to a regular workout schedule, eat healthy, participate in races.
- Blogging: Educate myself on blogging techniques, blog every day.
- Comedy: Write / Rehearse every day.
When I look at it this way, things seem much more worthwhile. The #1 thing in my life is my health and recovery. I can not let that slip at all, because without health, I can not do the rest and anything I would do without being healthy would be useless to me.
The other 5 are strictly based on where I am in my life right now. They are totally flexible. When I’m looking for work, work and finances do take priority, but when that part of my life stabilizes, perhaps another will supplant it as “second”.
Doing that allowed me to complete tasks, and get things done, but never felt I achieved anything.
When I review my priorities in terms of what is important TO ME, things are rather different.
At this point, here is what is important to me in order:
- My Recovery / Health
- Finding / Keeping work / Getting my finances in order
- My studies and education
- Fitness
- Blogging
- Comedy
Here’s how I can do each:
-Recovery / Health: Take my medication, improve my self-discipline, read about recovery, socialize / build relationships, eat healthy, make my cause be known.
- Work / Finances: Apply / Interview / discipline myself to tolerate what I dislike by remembering I am more than my job / Save money / Pay debts.
- Studies / Education: Apply myself to daily studying, reading and reviewing.
- Fitness: Discipline myself to a regular workout schedule, eat healthy, participate in races.
- Blogging: Educate myself on blogging techniques, blog every day.
- Comedy: Write / Rehearse every day.
When I look at it this way, things seem much more worthwhile. The #1 thing in my life is my health and recovery. I can not let that slip at all, because without health, I can not do the rest and anything I would do without being healthy would be useless to me.
The other 5 are strictly based on where I am in my life right now. They are totally flexible. When I’m looking for work, work and finances do take priority, but when that part of my life stabilizes, perhaps another will supplant it as “second”.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Questions and opinions
Would the fear / misunderstanding / stigma of mental illness be an in-born biological and physiological defence mechanism? A defence that tells us “None of our species (especially not our providers / protectors (MEN) ) can be disabled to the point of having difficulty coping / adjusting / adapting, because if that is so, our entire species is at risk!!” ?
Do we really like the underdog, or do we just root from the sidelines and feel good after he succeeds?
We love stories of overcoming obstacles and redemption, but do we love these same people BEFORE they “succeed” ?
We sugar-coat (even avoid talking about) Depression by sticking to what the person did “right”. We avoid the discomfort of discussing Depression. Not very tough / generous / helpful / useful / humanistic / thoughtful / humble / loving is that now!!!
And how educational is it to avoid learning about something?
Justifications such as “we don’t know” and “we’ve haven’t had it” only confirms ignorance and weakness.
Do we really like the underdog, or do we just root from the sidelines and feel good after he succeeds?
We love stories of overcoming obstacles and redemption, but do we love these same people BEFORE they “succeed” ?
We sugar-coat (even avoid talking about) Depression by sticking to what the person did “right”. We avoid the discomfort of discussing Depression. Not very tough / generous / helpful / useful / humanistic / thoughtful / humble / loving is that now!!!
And how educational is it to avoid learning about something?
Justifications such as “we don’t know” and “we’ve haven’t had it” only confirms ignorance and weakness.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Choices
We often hear (even within the mental health fraternity and medical community) that a large part of recovery from mental illness is a matter of “choice”. That when the person “chooses” to no longer be depressed, recovery will follow.
How come we never hear that people who don’t have mental illness are CHOOSING not to educate themselves? Choosing to “not know what to do”? That they choose to do nothing instead of getting involved?
Why is it the mentally ill and substance abusers who are making “bad choices”? Isn’t it a “bad choice” to remain ignorant about scientifically proven illnesses?
We all know that mental illness is stigmatized, what is never said is that stigmatization = intolerance.
Isn’t it a “bad choice” to stigmatize a group of people?
Mental illness is the only scientifically proven medical type of condition for which ignorance is accepted, even promoted.
How come we never hear that people who don’t have mental illness are CHOOSING not to educate themselves? Choosing to “not know what to do”? That they choose to do nothing instead of getting involved?
Why is it the mentally ill and substance abusers who are making “bad choices”? Isn’t it a “bad choice” to remain ignorant about scientifically proven illnesses?
We all know that mental illness is stigmatized, what is never said is that stigmatization = intolerance.
Isn’t it a “bad choice” to stigmatize a group of people?
Mental illness is the only scientifically proven medical type of condition for which ignorance is accepted, even promoted.
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